dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize