It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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