community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
