Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
