Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
