We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
