lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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