hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
