I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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