Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
