you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
