My nipple is on Facebook.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Randomize
