so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize