Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
