Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
