ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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