Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
