Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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