Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
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