You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
where does the pee come out of this thing
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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