Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
im six kinds of drunk right now
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
This toilet bowl is my home.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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