we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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