Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
