I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
