An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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