That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
