weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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