I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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