Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
A+ Viking dick
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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