He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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