i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize