no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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