actually, I'm a sock model
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Congratulations! We have a period
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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