i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
