I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
