My boss' voice literally gives me gas
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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