I am full of burrito and curiosity
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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