No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
