he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
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