i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
