First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
