Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
