It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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