ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
