the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
