I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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