nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
