Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I can't turn off my feet"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
