Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
