remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i now understand why vodka
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Drunk is not a location!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
