he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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