i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
