Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
