also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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