i barfeds in our rink
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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