am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
they call him Oral-B. enough said
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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