Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
